As you may know, I have been a speaker at Women of Faith conferences for a couple of years now. I really can’t say enough about the tremendous perspective this experience has given me…it’s truly been a blessing!
Now, I’m not going to lie—being on stage in an arena filled with over 10,000 women takes some getting used to. In some ways, it’s what I imagine being behind enemy lines must be like. At first, I’m nervous and scared of being discovered as an outsider at any moment. But, after awhile, I start to blend in, learn the language, and gather critical intelligence to take back home. Ha!
Oddly enough, though, I think I learn more about women and about myself when I’m asked to answer questions about men and, more specifically, husbands.
One of the questions that gets asked in one form or another over and over again is, “What is something special I can do for my husband?”
Before I answer this question, I want to warn any ladies reading this to brace yourselves, because at first this might seem like the last thing he needs. But the answer is simple:
The most important thing that any wife can do for her husband is…admire him.
Now, trust me, I understand why this answer might cause you to cringe or roll your eyes. When Polly and I first started considering this, she was thinking about all the people who come up to me in the airport and want to compliment me on my books or take a picture with me, etc.
So she’s thinking, The last thing he needs is for somebody else to tell him that he’s done good. He’s done a good job of not becoming full of himself, but if I jump in there I might tip him right off the cliff.
Listen, when someone compliments me or tells me they like my books, I appreciate it and am truly honored and thankful…but it’s my wife from whom I need to hear those things. And I’ll tell you the reason why—because deep down inside, I’m still just that little boy saying, “Look how high I can jump!”
Ladies, your husbands are nothing but little boys. We are little boys. We may look like men, but underneath, you are married to a little bitty boy. We’re going out every single day, riding our bikes, trying to jump higher than all the other little boys, and constantly looking back over our shoulder to see if you’re watching.
Like Jones said in The Noticer, this is our love language. Little boys want to be loved like puppy dogs. We want to be rubbed on the head and told things like, “You’re such a good boy!” This sounds so simple, and obviously I’m being a little bit silly, but I promise that making this small change will change things drastically for you and your marriage. If you want a healthy marriage, this simple thing will be beyond effective for you.
Are any of you already using this technique successfully? What are some ways you’ve shown your spouse admiration? What other things do you do to make your spouse feel great?
Also, if anything in this post resonated with you or helped you in any way, please forward it to a friend whom you think it can help as well. Remember, we’re in this thing together!
If you really want to make your husband feel incredible, you can take things a step further: Admire him to other people and to your kids. I don’t know that there’s anything in the world that makes me feel better than when I hear Polly tell the boys that I’m a great daddy. When I hear her say things like that, I can’t even begin to think of enough ways to thank her.